How Climbing Uluru when I was 7 Led to Founding Australian Ceremonial Cacao

✈️ as I was flying from Sydney to Uluṟu, I distinctly heard my spirit guide tell me “you’ve come here to say sorry, once you’ve apologised you’ll know your next phase”.
What’s my next phase? - I seriously had NO IDEA just how much my life would change after the next series of events that were about to happen.
I had arrived the day before I actually apologised to the spirits for climbing the rock back when I was 7 years old.
I wanted to apologise so badly, especially after that very loud and clear message from my spirit guide on the plane.
But I wanted to be AT the rock, it HAD to be done the way I envisioned it. And I was silly not to know that the spirits were all around and of course, they had been expecting me.
That night in the hotel, I dream reel after reel of every single naughty thing I had ever done in my entire life 😅
Sneaking out of my bathroom window to go out and drink with my friends when I was a teenager.
Getting expelled from school.. both times.
Lying to my parents about my whereabouts.
Putting a dead wasp in my roommates sock.
Every. Little. Thing. 👀 from teenager until was 29. They showed me. They knew.

So when this day came. I was incredibly ready to have this chat with the spirits of Uluṟu, it was real, I had only just ‘awoken’ about 9 months after my son was born and my abilities were still very basic at this point, so the dream the night before gave me no doubt as to how loud and powerful spirits could be.
So it all happened whilst in a crowded tour group and I was finally where I felt was the ‘right place’..

That morning, I woke up.. incredibly aware of their awareness. I sensed that every person who is staying in the motels, hotels, camping, visiting are all being watched. There was a new realisation as to just how BIG the energy of this land is and how incredibly POWERFUL it is.
Today must be the day.

I booked us a tour of Uluru.

After breakfast we packed all our things to make sure we didn’t die of dehydration within the first half hour of being out there. If anyone has been through the ‘red centre’, you’ll know that the dry air literally evaporates the water out of your body like a drop of water on a hot fry pan.

We follow our spritely young Aboriginal tour guide around to different spots and listened to the Dreamtime stories that was allowed to be shared, learning about some different markings and crevices of Uluṟu.
And we finally get to ‘The Spot.’
I felt the emotions coming up into my chest and head.
I felt the ancestors and spirits there watching me, their energy electric and very present.
I look at Uluṟu as we stand next to it, and I see it breathing, like a chest gently rising and falling.
Our guide had been telling us about why the locals don’t want people to climb Uluṟu, about respecting their reason and as he says this a woman interrupts him and started to explain that climbing Uluru wasn’t about conquering the ‘rock’ it was more spiritual and about conquering herself. My tour group goes silent and you could have cut the tension in the air with a knife, people were silently watching as the lovely tour guide gracefully listens and responds kindly to smooth over her justifications for climbing, but she keeps going, needing her reason to be validated.. it was awkward..
Meanwhile.. I’m having my own moment here busting to apologise.. 😐
“Has anyone ever apologised for climbing the rock?” I blurt out in the middle of their tense game of conversation tennis.
EVERYONE turned around to look at me, a few people started nodding or muttered agreement under their breath. The woman in question had turned her head to look mortified by my loud outburst..

“Because I climbed it 22 years ago when I was 7 and I want to apologise for climbing it.”

More tension in the group..

Lovely tour guide broke it.. “People do apologise or they send back sand or rocks that they took, we’ve had stories of bad luck and curses people believed they’ve experienced for taking them, we get things sent back all the time! I’m not from here I’m from Fraser Island so you don’t need to apologise to me but you can certainly apologise.”
Me: “Thanks”.

I quickly turn around and I just burst out balling my eyes out. I mean I was flooding.. with tears, snot, drool, you name it.. I was a floodgate burst open and there was nothing stopping me, I cried and cried and cried. I didn’t even know I had all this emotion in me about this thing I did thoughtlessly when I was a little kid!
After I’d finished releasing the flood of the Nile I stopped and telepathically addressed the spirits myself.
“If you do forgive me, you know where to find me, come and see me in my dreams.”

We spend the rest of this time doing all the things, helicopter tour, field of lights. The morning of the field of lights we had to get up at 4am and get down there for it to still be dark to see the lights, when we were walking towards the lights I looked up at the sky and it was brighter than I had seen a night sky in a long time. There were so many stars, and then suddenly I realised that’s what all the white dots in the paintings are, everything is made of stars 🌟

10 days after apology day I’m back in Brisbane and I get my dream. I’m by the rock with a large group of Aboriginal Women sitting around a fire and my guide, a young woman in an oversized blue y-shirt points to the animal near the fire. “They are cutting the Emu into 6 pieces” she explains. They were cooking Emu for me.
Even as I write this today, I’m still emotional.
They accepted me.

Acceptance is not something I’ve felt very often in my life.

There is a lot of unspeakably unjust horrific behaviour that happened to the people in this Country. The list is too long.
I must be careful of how I say what I really want to express here as to keep this page available to you guys.
We are free beings, living in a complete make believe idea of human ownership.
This imposition rules over most of us.
Remember, Sovereignty is our birthright

Back to my story.
As I leave this dream I slowly back out of the scene and I see my smiling guide standing next to an elder, she is bare breasted and her body is adorned in beautiful lines of a white coloured paint.
She holds a coolamon in front of her breast. I thought it was a shield.

I woke up, and cried..

Within that week I actually had reiki share which I had been attending for a few months now.. but it was the first and last time that I would be partnered with these two amazing women, an Aboriginal and Māori elder.
Incredibly powerful in their gifts and talents. I lay on the massage bad and they started tuning in. Immediate the Aboriginal elder said, “I see an elder here and a young woman, the elder is painted and she’s holding a coolamon.” “Rainbow Snake is here too.”

Was this really fucking happening? She’s seeing who I was seeing? They’re still with me?
Who are they?

I just started crying again!
It was validation.
“The Elder has a gift for you, it’s the coolamon.”

That was one of the most memorable reiki shares I had ever had.

So in amongst these series of events.. I had attended a Cacao Ceremony held by an American couple who were very popular in the spiritual space, the ceremony itself wasn’t what I had anticipated, I didn’t have any big teary emotional moments, it’s was like drinking a drink and following along to a meditation and then that was that.
But when I came home with a bag of cacao and began Ceremonying myself at home was when my whole life changed even more.

I literally looked forward to this act of preparing my cacao in my bullet blender and intentionally sitting on my beanbag or outside the back with my mug, I’d bought my first oracle deck and really started to connect with it, I bought a journal and I started really getting in touch with myself. I really enjoyed these moments with me. I didn’t realise how unfriendly I was to myself and I was just experiencing joy of being in my own company. I can’t remember when I ever had..
Like really ENJOYING it, being my own friend.
Cacao really was opening up my heart, I had this sense of.. I’ve got to save this country and heal the pain of all the people who live here.
I need to help people love themselves.
I need to love myself again..

So one day I’m out the back and I think about this ‘coolamon’ that I was gifted.. what on earth am I going to do with a spiritual coolamon? ‘A real fruit bowl would be more practical’ I joked in my mind.
I was also at this point & position where I knew I needed to leave my now ex and I just desperately needed help and direction. ‘Just tell me what you want me to do’ I remember putting the call out to the Universe, to anyone and anything that was listening.

And I got a reply. ‘Why don’t you look inside the coolamon?’
Why didn’t I think of that? 😅😂
So I meditate and I see my elder handing me the coolamon, I hold it with both hands as they are long. And I look inside it, an image starts to appear of brown beans, 🫘 Cacao beans I realise.
“You want to know what to do? Take my hand and I’ll show you.”
That was Mumma Cacao.
I see her hand and I see her to my right, and I take it without hesitation.

3 days and nights I don’t sleep. My thoughts are bombarded with what to do to start ACC. All night. All day.
This was my first experience of a loooooong download.

A lot has happened since then. But here we are now! With beautiful products. Ceremonial mugs which I was making myself back in the day as well.

I have amazing amazing customers and fellow magical rebels 🤎✨

Everything in life happens for a reason, even if it makes no sense. Who knew a girl born in Thailand, living in the rice paddies would end up climbing Uluru and being here today. All I know is that I am here for a reason which is to serve the world and people by reminding them that LOVE is a powerful tool and the capability is within all of us. We are here to live to our fullest, feel free to be who we were born to be, no matter how weird or unacceptable it might seem. We all deserve to live in peace, in harmony under one sky.